SEXIST COMEDY COMPETITION IN "PAY TO PLAY" SCANDAL

Women have the power to be funny..... for just £15


Sexist comedy promoter "Fanny Women" who last year sparked outrage and controversy by charging wannabe comediennes a whopping £15 entry fee to take part in their competition have become embroiled in a yet another scandal by still blatantly refusing to let any males, transvestites or male to female transsexuals enter their annual contest

You've got £15 and a fanny? then we'll let you try to be funny! 

In addition, THE STUN has learned from an undisclosed source that despite raising several hundred thousand pounds from Youtube adsense revenues AND three new sponsors the disgustingly controversial £15 pay to play entrance fee remains in place for yet another year!

Trans comic Glenda Sheeman, "it's a diabolical liberty!"

Outraged transsexual comic Glenda Sheeman told THE STUN "every year I try to enter the Fanny Women comp and each year get the same response, they don't want me or my £15 because I once possessed a penis, had I been a female to male transsexual I would have been accepted, it's blatant gender apartheid and a diabolical liberty, political correctness gone mad, you couldn't make this stuff up"

THE STUN put it to Fanny Women organiser Lynda Sheaffer that her competition not only exploited gullible women but was sexist towards men, Sheaffer retorted "Unless you have a GENUINE fanny you simply cannot enter our competition, end of story! it's called Fanny Women for a reason, regardless of recent gender reassignment breakthroughs we can't have comics with penises going around entering Fanny Women willy nilly"

Last years £15 entrance fee was seen by critics as exploiting naive, inexperienced and girly acts who had no real chance of actually being "funny" during the social media shitstorm that followed, Sarah Milliband, Sheppie Corrs-Hendy & Jo Coalfield all tweeted their disapproval at the huge entry fee, "£15 can feed a slim female comic for a month" Tweeted Coalfield, the former face of Fanny Women's website who urged hard-up lady comics to take their £15 down to Primark instead

Posh new act Roberta Lyndsey, yet another hissy fit

Posh Roberta Lyndsey an up and coming comedienne still reeling from her recent hissy fit over the effects of "diversity" on oppressed female open-micers told us "I was looking forward to doing this last year but the £15 entry fee came as a shocking deal breaker, my mum can't afford to keep supporting my starving artist lifestyle AND pay these exhorbitant fees as well, it's discrimination, shame on them, I'm very very cross, so cross that I shall write an angry blog about it!"

In 2011 Fanny Women sought to justify the £15 entry fee by claiming they had no sponsor to fund the bits of the contest that their huge audience revenues didn't cover, whilst that may have washed last year THE STUN has learned that they have attracted no less than THREE corporate sponsors for the 2012 competition!

Kiera Barley, MD at one of the sponsors, cosmetics brand BENEFIT said "The deal is perfect because our range of make-up also costs £15, there are many other brand value synergies, for example most of the Fanny Women acts are on benefits and like the myth that women can be funny our customers faces are "made up" too"

The Fanny Women competition also has an award for the best variety act which is sponsored by BLUE NUN wine. Julie Feral of the brand placement agency said "Sponsorship of sexist competitions connects people, Brand values are strengthened by it, the Blue Nun is also a woman and when she gets pissed on Liebfraumilch she's hilarious"

In a statement from the competitions other sponsor, Mrs. Shirley Tampax, Marketing director of sanitary protection brand LIBERTY panty liners said "bloody hell, we were unaware of this controversy but having thought about it, we can still align brand values synergistically, Comediennes are well known for their menstruation jokes and like the Fanny Women £15 entry fee our product is also a bleeding liberty" 

KERCHING! Fanny Women shaking that money maker

Rival "FREE ENTRY" comedy competitions are being set up in response to give men, trannies and the masses of women without the required three £5 notes a chance to be represented in what is still a very divisive,  exploitative and for some, highly lucrative art form

COWARDLY SCUFFERS MURDER FAMILY PET

Pigs kill Scoobie - EXCLUSIVE!


Five coppers from the Met Police's elite ASBO unit are today in hospital with "life changing" injuries after a bungled raid on the East London home of a notorious graffiti artist, Eyewitnesses told THE STUN that 7 buzzed up bizzies had battered through the front door dressed in menacing para-military uniforms and were then heard screaming "Armed police, open the door" when terrified family pet Scoobie, a 1 year old Labradoodle sprang to her owners defence. Police confirmed the swoop was part of Operation Big Wang, a major Scotland Yard purge on easy to prosecute offences ranging from skateboarding and graffiti to public urination.

Scoobie, shot only four times at point blank range by a highly skilled CO19 marksman

Horrific video footage captured on a neighbours mobile phone shows several PETrified rozzers jumping onto a 3 foot high wall as Scoobie angrily growled and snapped at their colleagues, PC Jack Russell can be heard screaming "Help me help me! get this bitch off me" as his pepper spray wielding colleagues scatter in all directions and a PCSO is seen jumping onto a nearby car roof causing criminal damage

Brave bluebottles dive for the safety of high ground as Scoobie defends his home

The stand off continued in what was described as a "Sustained attack" over 30 minutes with Scoobie chasing barton wielding, Tazer toting peelers up walls and onto cars until the Tactical Support Group arrived and performed a controversial "kennelling" manoeuvre, finally pinning the petrified pooch down under a wall of riot shields, moments later a skilled marksman from CO19 arrived and took just four shots from a Barret .50 calibre rifle to humanely execute the pinned down puppy

Chief Inspector Dick Smart of Barking C.I.D. told THE STUN "due to some faulty intelligence we did not plan for or train our officers to deal with any type of canine that would defend it's home against a sudden forced entrance by 7 armed and screaming men, if these police budget cuts continue we may end up having to employ some dogs ourselves as they are probably cheaper than the PCSO's we currently have to use"

THE STUN has learned from 73 year old neighbour Jermaine Shepherd that the deceased Labradoodle was a well known risk, "I have reported that dirty bitch to the council countless times for persistent fouling but nothing was ever done, now they're sorry, I told them it would all end up in a big stinking mess, I feel vindicated" he said

Sergeant Springer who led the initial raid was treated for shock after the ordeal, he told THE STUN "when that ferocious beast grabbed my colleague I just ran, I'll probably be hounded for not doing more to save them but I'm only earning £46k a year and now that we no longer get to top up our income with tax free "Tips" from tabloid journalists there's just no way I'm getting hurt for such a pittance, they'll probably have a bone to pick with me when they get back from their 6 months sick leave but that's just life in 21st century Barking"

Bloodbath, a Newham street becomes a river of Labradoodle blood after pets public execution

5 members of a Bahamian pop group were later remanded in custody after an anonymous tip off on the crimeshoppers snitch line, the unidentified caller claimed he knew for a fact that it was definitely the Baha Men "who let the dogs out"

Sex Factor Sex Tape Scandal - Tulisa Comes Clean

Tulisa's Blow By Blow Account

Talented vocalist Tulisa Contostavrobabbadopoulou has shocked n-dubz & X-Factor fans by revealing that the controversial "faked" blowjob video that allegedly showed her hungrily felating fellow bandmate "Facialer" was in fact a REAL SEX TAPE all along!

In a shocking 360 degree u-turn, tantalising, todger teaser Tulisa told her many new fans that she did indeed do the dirty deepthroat deed on "THAT dong" but in a shocking 180 degree twist to the u-turn it was revealed that she remembered the gnarly purple member she was noshing off was not in fact the member of band member "Facialer" at all....

Former ex boyfriend Justin Cider also known as rapper MC Ulterior was named and shamed as the lewd love rat who did the dirty in Tasty Tulisa's sex tape, in her Youtube confessional video Tidy Tulisa 23 said she was Heartbroken, Horrified & Humiliated to be Betrayed, Belittled and Badgered by a performer she once Tutored, Trusted & Titilated, in her heartfelt video she admitted "I've never been the type to just kneel down and keep my mouth shut, that's one of the things MC Ulterior really liked about me"

Lewd love rat MC Ulterior, leaked his penis onto the web

THE STUN contacted lawyer to the stars Mrs Dee Nials who only yesterday was adamant that the leaked material was "utterly fake" in a brief telephone conversation she refused to accept that it was indeed her we were talking to and said she'd never heard of any Tulisa, especially one whose surname was such a mouthful, "what injunctions are you talking about? I have no idea what any of this means, what's a solicitor?" she told us, allegedly

Warren Street her agent was unrepentant that he'd categorically denied Tulisa's involvement in the sex tape only yesterday, he told THE STUN this morning "I was gobbing off yesterday, I lied to protect my client, I thought it would quickly blow over and coming clean was not the way a head"

X Factor judge Tulisa finished off her confessional video saying "If you're gonna judge me yeah like now you can judge us both you get me, and remember yeah, when you judge someone yeah, it don't define the person you is judging yeah, it defines you innit" great news for all future X Factor contestants

All's well that ends well however, Tulisa is getting offers of work from lollypop & vacuum cleaner  manufacturers, meanwhile her raunchy video has been nominated for a prestigious MOBLO award

Tulisa Gets "Gagging Order" On Her Deepthroat Video

The XXX Factor


 Sex mad X Factor judge and former Nudubz star Tulisa Contostavrobabbadobolou has denied all claims that her ex boyfriend's 7 minute long deepthroat video of her is 100% real, the 25 year old sex kitten from Camden told THE STUN "I've never deepthroated a dong like that as I have always had a problem with gag reflex, I'm not even a blonde either I'm half Greek so it's definately not me playing the pink oboe in that stolen blowjob video of me though you get me bruv yeah"

Almost certainly not Tulisa Felating a phallus in her 100% faked Tulisa Sex Tape

The deeply explicit sex tape allegedly shows "The female boss" expertly performing a sordid act of oral willy worship on an unseen member of her band, MOFO award winning Nudubz. In a shocking tweet her estranged cousin & former bandmate Dippy (Real name Constantinos Constantinopoulosides) revealed "JUST SO EVERY 1 KNWS, ME AND FACIALER HAVE F***ED MANY B****ES 2 GETHER, SO I AM CLEARLY STATING THAT THE C**K IN T'S ALLEGED SEX TAPE IS FACIALERS," Rapper Facialer (Real name Dick Rawshaft) was unavailable today to deny the identity of his penis. 

Tasty Tulisa with "the ex" Facialer, his penor is definately not on the Internets

 Lawyer to the stars Mrs. Dee Nials of Argue & Phibbs Solicitors released the following statement "A very rude video has been removed from internet servers following our swift action on behalf of our client Ms Cunto ... Ms Cuntstab .... Tulisa opoulos, although our client is paying us to do this we must stress that it is definately, 100% emphatically not her starring in the deep throat video and even if it somehow was her it is all faked with CGI and stunt doubles anyway, any claims to the contrary will be prosecuted to the full length of the law" 

The expensive trans-Atlantic gagging order has immediately ensured that no copies of Tulisa's alleged porn video can ever be seen by Nudubz fans anywhere on the Internets again.  

The ex facked her

THE STUN contacted her agent Warren Street who further denied her involvement in this or any other internet porn, "This is a photoshopped porn flick designed to cash in on the fame of a demure X-Factor judge and Tulisa just isn't going to swallow it, she is horrified that someone would go to the extreme lengths of fabricating a deepthroat video. It is absolutely not her. Tulisa has categorically never allowed anyone to film her having sex because she has never actually had any kind of sex with anyone ever"


Editor of the THE STUN and close family friend Richard Littlecock said "I'm confident this is a genuine fake, we once hacked her voicemails and know for a fact, she'd never eat a dick, Tulisa is a confirmed vagitarian, oh and that rampant dildo they found buzzing in her baggage at the airport is definately her friends too"