London's Met police have announced that their war on paedophile 1970's pop jockeys is almost won as the net around wanted kiddydiddler Jimmy Savile continues to tighten
17 members of Savile's family have been arrested and charged with attempting to pervert the course of justice as it was revealed that they destroyed a huge granite marker stone that may have provided crucial clues as to the whereabouts of Britain's most wanted charity fundraiser
At a Met Police press conference this morning Commander Peter Shindler, head of "Operation Yewtree" assured the public that Savile was now "a definate paedo, possibly the worlds biggest ever" and went on to say he would soon be brought to justice alongside the many other Paedo DJ's on his list
"We have 976 officers working on operation yewtree now following 557 lines of inquiry, some of the hundreds of calls to the national accident helpline have claimed that other 70's celebrities were also involved so we've had to split yewtree into three different camps, we can't explain why for confidentiality reasons but we're calling them JIMMY SAVILE, JIMMY SAVILE AND OTHERS and simply OTHERS"
Meanwhile fugitive patron of 29 separate charities and raiser of almost £50,000,000 for worthy causes, Jimmy Savile, released a new pop video mocking those hundreds of officers who have been reassigned from fighting present day crime and sent back to investigate alleged "incidents" from the 1950's 60's & 70's
Sergeant Pete O'Foyle from Scotland Yard's "allegations from the 70's squad" today arrested an unnamed 67 year old radio personality after 2 hysterical women suddenly remembered that he had allegedly "jiggled" their boobs 41 years ago, in further shocking revelations it transpired that one of these incidents happened on BBC premises where hundreds of kiddies are now alleged to have been diddled
"I will not be drawn on the identity of this famous BBC Radio 1 breakfast show presenter from 1978 to 1980" said Sgt Pete O'Foyle "we do however have a number of photographs and video clips of him WITH Jimmy Savile on paedo pop show POP-OFF-THEIR-TOPS so we have no doubt that he is a diddler"
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Sgt O'Foyle is also credited with the arrest of Dodgy Hamster eating Scouser Freddie Star and more recently 70's glam rock icon Gary Glitter following hundreds of compensation claims from elderly cash-strapped women who were groupies and teenyboppers in the 1960's & 70's
"When I finally felt Gary Glitter's huge flamboyant collar I had no doubt that I had taken out the leader of this prolific, predatory gang" O'Foyle went on to say, "several of these of pop pushing paedos are now believed to have belonged to a PIRATE organisation, codenamed CAROLINE"
Asked if he had a message for Philanthropist, Charity Patron & Public Safety Film Superstar Jimmy Savile, Sgt O'Foyle issued this appeal
"Give yourself up Savile, we know where you are and we know what your motorhome looks like, we have hundreds of officers out looking for you and the BBC has three separate inquiries ongoing, you can't hide for much longer, we demand justice for all these diddled groupies and they have fixed it for you"
A fellow BBC Radio DJ released the following statement "for decades paedophile DJ's at the BBC have been hiding in plain sight, it simply beggars belief that the blatantly obvious clues to their darker side were ignored for so long, it is now time to wake up to the glaringly obvious evidence, the police must bring all these perverts to justice or my name isn't David 'KID' Jensen"
A fellow BBC Radio DJ released the following statement "for decades paedophile DJ's at the BBC have been hiding in plain sight, it simply beggars belief that the blatantly obvious clues to their darker side were ignored for so long, it is now time to wake up to the glaringly obvious evidence, the police must bring all these perverts to justice or my name isn't David 'KID' Jensen"
