Saturday 15 August 2015

Paedo Comedian Says He's Safe To Come Back

THE STUN has learned that disgraced stand-up comedian, Russell "Monkeywithagunn" Haynes is vowing to make his comedy comeback, 6 months after going into hiding following revelations of his secret double life as "Russmandingo" A Black BDSM Master Dominator with a disturbingly noncey appetite for white teenaged schoolboy "slaves"

Devious Diddler Russmandingo, once a notoriously active open mic act on the stand-up up circuit was exposed as a convicted level 5 Schoolboy noncer by creepy Mediterranean open mic comic and super-grass "Cheeky Cinzano" back in February 2015

Cheeky Cinzano revealed to the comedy circuit that he'd been searching the internet quite innocently for "Black Man on White Boy Bondage Porn" when a clip of Russ Haynes automatically started playing on his laptop, "The porn was very kinky" said Cinzano who is known mainly for dancing about in public wearing only a tight womans G-string, "I had to stop watching it after about seven minoots when the white boy being spanked cried out that he was only 15"

Haynes, "The Camberwell Cracker Smacker" as he'd styled himself, was sentenced to 2 years in 2008 for filming himself spanking the boy, a pupil at his gymnastics club whom he'd groomed for several years, frequently dressing the lad up in ladies underwear before tying him up for twisted BDSM sessions

Spanky Spanky!


Haynes' comedy agent Sherlock Watson of "The Laughing Paed" immediately dropped him in a press statement after the story broke on Feb 1st 2015, Watson condemned all acts of black on white paedophilia before going on to shamelessly plug his comedy clubs once he'd sniffed the ensuing free publicity, "I'm not being racist" Claimed Watson in a lengthy press release, "BUT....this isn't the first time I've had trouble with an ethnic comedian"

The story was covered by all the major newspapers except The Guardian who's intern Marc Burrows told THE STUN "A black, disabled, gay, paedophile comedian isn't of interest to our liberal metropolitan readership, it's the kind of thing you'd read about in the Daily Mail" 



Youtuber Monkeywithagunn & Product Placement?


In February 2015 Russmandingo was widely denounced by most of his fellow open-mic comic friends, "I'm moving back to 'Merca where I can use ma guns to kill these peddoes" said Duke Crapassole, one of many foreign comedians appearing in Haynes' collection of Instagram selfies

Haynes outraged the comedy community when the scandal first broke by issuing a number of rambling, self indulgent statements, all of them portraying himself as the victim in these sordid events before going on to casually state that after this "one moment of madness" he is now a totally changed man "There are lots of positives" said Haynes in one of his ramblings "Without this I wouldn't have met my wife and had my 2 kids, I'm writing an Edinburgh show about it in order to help other people realise that you can nonce a kid and still have a life in the spotlight after it"

Glenda Sheeman, "It's a diabolical liberty!" 
 
Trans Comedian and social justice campaigner Glenda Sheeman took to Twitter to exclaim "It's a diabolical Liberty! two years he got for noncing a kid! if a white comedian nonced a black, gay, disabled kid he'd get 25 to life! #everydayracism"

After feeling the weight of the February 2015 backlash, unrepentant pervert Haynes finally did the sensible thing, deleting all of his many social media accounts including his Youtube Monkeywithagunn channel, selling his Camberwell flat next to the leisure centre where he ran his grooming sessions and buying a large house in cheap Gillingham Kent with the proceeds

Laying low for 6 months was obviously in his business plan, he attempted to re-emerge onto the comedy scene this week after re-activitang his twitter and Youtube accounts and re-upping his previously removed website at www.monkeywithagunn.com

A disgusting Youtube video followed, filmed ironically in a child's bedroom, where Russ "Monkeywithagunn" a.k.a. Russalingo Haynes boasted about the lucrative sale of his Camberwell flat and the purchase of his "Huge House" in the Gillingham area before once again making out that he was the poor unfortunate victim of some awful racist "Witch Hunt" in February 2015, an event he claims was started by his vendetta with super grass and comedy creep "Cheeky Cinzano"

Haynes added insult to delusional injury by vowing to return to the stand-up comedy scene with the same "It wasn't a big deal, I've got over it" attitude to his white kid noncing crimes that so outraged the comedy circuit half a year ago, the sinister, overall message of his video being "Yeah, I was convicted of kiddie diddling, it doesn't define me"

Paedo Russ Haynes YouTubing from a child's bedroom complete with Yew tree mural


Once again, Paedobuster "Cheeky Cinzano" was on the case, Russalingo continued to protest too much that his penchant for dominating young teen white boy slaves was a thing of the past, Cheeky Cinzano in his best super-grass mode Googled the following CONDEMNING EVIDENCE that proves categorically, our unrepentant racist white child spanker Russalingo Haynes is still compulsively desirous of a young white teen boys arse to sordidly tie up and spank!



Racist Paedo Russ Haynes doesn't want to nonce a black boy


"It's nothing to do with payback for centuries of slavery" said an outraged Glenda Sheeman, "it's everything to do with these Guardian reading lentil eaters who'll try to murder Dapper Laughs for his working class humour and then fall over themselves apologising for a deaf, gay, black comedian child molester"


 
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