PIGS SWOOP ON INNOCENT REPORTERS

Fuzz Raid Journalists Homes In Search Of Bribes

Five innocent employees of THE STUN had their privacy invaded by the filth this morning as scuffers from the Old Bill's "Serious Bung Squad" set about looking for brown envelopes in their homes

The raids follow a series of recent scandals over allegedly dodgy news gathering practices, like phone hacking, copper bribing and making shit up

Four of our innocent reporters remain in Babylon custody after one was set free and given a ride home by an unnamed PCSO via a Barclays cash machine. The arrests, part of the Operation Elveden probe into cash payments to the bizzies in return for scandalous stories, had to be carried out by specialist elite rozzers who hadn't already received any media bribes.

At a Scotland Yard press conference, Detective Inspector Dick Smart refused to comment to the new journalistic faces that showed up, saying only "Where is your sub-editor Willy this morning? usually I only talk to Willy at THE STUN, oh heck, Willy hasn't been collared has he? I have to go..."

Former Chief Bluebottle Ali Disraeli said "I'm shocked, we have the best media in the whole whole whole wide world and undeniably the best police force money can buy"

Ali Disraeli, Former Chief Cuntstubble

THE STUN employees we spoke to this morning were concerned they were now involved in something of a witch-hunt, shocked journalist Elvira Blair & puzzled picture editor Glinda Eastwick said "They've removed all the black cats from the office and are building a ducking stool outside by the pond, we're terrified"

News Corporation is said to have kicked off the whole "Cash for News" scandal in retaliation for the Plods shoddy handling of pie flinging terrorist Johnnie Marbles who recently assaulted chairman Rupert Murdoch, Mr. Murdoch's News Corp is the parent company of News International which owns the THE STUN and the Times.

Last month, four former and current journalists from THE STUN and a Metropolitan Police Peeler were arrested as part of the inquiry and released on bail, ironically a process which also involves handing over large sums of money to public officials

The arrested journalists were former deputy editor Fergus Creamer, former managing editor Graham Bach-Anders, crime editor Mike Bonus and head of news Chris Packet.

Asked if he knew what the heck was going on, Lib Dem M.P. gay mayoral candidate and former Met bullyboy Brian Padlock said "Operation Elveden is being overseen by the IPCC, running alongside the Met's Operation Weeting inquiry into phone hacking at the now-defunked News of the World, I'm outraged, the force isn't what it used to be" Brian was once the UK's only openly bent copper

Boasting about her staff, gobby Police chief Cressida Cox-Hucker said "More than 20 arrests have so far been made as part of Operation Elveden, no bungs have been recovered"