GREEN WITH ENVY OVER TRANNY

Luscious Lindsey "Bumped" For Elderly He-She


They couldn't make it up! on April 4th The carbon-hating "Green Party" are hosting a charity fundraiser headlined by telly comic Alistair McGowan, Lovely lady comic Roberta Lindsey was delighted to be one of a pair of token female comedians invited by greens to perform 10 minutes of stand-up on their politically correct "diverse" comedy bill

"I was really excited to be doing this as I once dated a guy who drove a big diesel Range Rover and he was such a cock" said leggy Lindsey (29) of Tooting "I didn't want money or anything, just a chance to do a charity gig and meet that rich bloke off the telly"

Roberta Lindsey, Comedienne

Imagine lusty Lindsey's horror when she received an email saying she'd been bumped off the bill because two girly gagsters were one too many..... and an elderly tranny was being brought in "to properly balance the evenings Diversity"


"I was gobsmacked, getting bumped off the bill for having a fanny is one thing but being replaced by some old queen who has a pretend pussy is really rubbing salt into the gash" 


THE STUN quickly contacted mean greeny Chris Peeduck, sender of the "Dear Jayne" email to jilted sex kitten Roberta (36 24 34) "Don't shoot the messenger" said grovelling Peeduck in a lengthy apology email "...as a party that is concerned with all things earthy, Roberta was just deemed too mainstream for our diverse comedy eco-system and whilst the other comedy bird we have isn't as funny as lipsmackingly gorgeous Lindsey she's got the frumpier stage persona and the shorter haircut that our predominantly transgender / transexual / transvestite voters would identify with"

Wilma Fingerdoo, Funny Tranny

Silver Fox Comedy Award Winner, Wilma Fingerdoo (67) from Penge, who replaced Rampant Roberta on the bill said "It's political correctness gone mad! Lindsey's really funny for a chick, she's smoking hot too, I'd do her, I've still got me tackle and everything"

Lucas Caroline M.P, Chief Greenmeister Boss

In a swift condemnation of "Communications Officer" Peeduck's crass and inappropriate treatment of the artistically sensitive Lindsey, green party leader Lucas Caroline (who was himself born a female) blurted "It's nowt to do wi' us lads, Peeduck can be a right knob-end when he talks to comics cos he automatically thinks they get his attempts at humour, he's allus bin shite at chattin' t't birds an all 'appen......T'green party is rayt proper disgusted wi' 'im, seethee by heckers like"

Chris Peeduck, Green Meanie

Media Director Mark Cringe said "That rude bastard again.....why am I not surprised? it's a blue party that rude fucker wants to be in not a green one, honestly what a cunt, no offence!"